music: my bestest friend.

I have never had a better friend than music. When I was confused, music told me it's thoughts. When I was frustrated, music showed me that it was too. When I thought I was crazy, music said to me "I feel the exact same way you do!"

The only problem was, I was raised by a very (VERY) Christian mother who forbid me to listen to anything even slightly objectionable. Even a seemingly innocent bubblegum oldies song was to be turned off at the mere mention of "making love" under the objection that -- if they were not married -- it was a sin, and you shouldn't be listening to people who are saying that that is okay."

There was even a book purchased (that I still have on my coffee table for all to enjoy) which rated each and every band that exists on a 12-point rating system of evil. Evil, everyone's favorite dysphemism. Insert it in any sentence and your fearful opinion of something becomes infallible F A C T.

Now, I understood what she was trying to say. I fully agree that most song lyrics are bland and hackneyed and just plain stupid, but this did not stop me from looking past that, past the "evil," and appreciating the music itself.

So instead of believing her, it taught me how to be resourceful:

• i feigned interest in Christian music so that I could be allowed to get a walkman for my birthday (and then taping over those tapes with what I really wanted to listen to).
  
• because I did not ever get an allowance, I never had money. And so, I would need to find ways to achieve free music (and mind you, this is the early 1980's). And so: copying friends albums + the Mt. Prospect Public Library.
  
• also,my dad was a great help, and would smuggle tapes to me whenver he could).
• hide the devil's music underneath all of the Michael Jordan posters that covered my ceiling.
• make up fake names of Christian-sounding bands in order to go to evil concerts.
• run an old pair of red-and-blue gameboy headphones underneath my shirtsleeves and sit with my head resting against the cupped earbud inside during all hours (especially during school and church!).

This is why I started a band. I wanted to help. I wanted to give back. I couldn't bare to think of how many others just like me were suffering the same fate, desperately looking for a friend to tell them it was going to be okay.

And it is going to be okay. What you might think is bad right now will actually be laughable to you in less than 20 years. And if you survive (and you can if you want to), you will be better for it.

Everyone is just scared, that's all. And isn't there a certain comfort in knowing that? We all just want more friends to tell us everything will be fine.

Well, here I am, offering to be your friend, telling you:

"Everything will be fine."

So go listen to a happy song (it doesn't have to be mine) and do whatever it is you dream about doing!